I've perhaps gone over the edge...or maybe my being connected to the Goddess as immanent, as a being with many names but totally inside me all the time, means I don't have this need to connect outside myself as much.
Yes I still need other people...but not for my spiritual path.
Awareness, as Buddhists say...just to tune into what is already there. So there's a sense of completeness.
I didn't feel any of the New Year's push. Certainly not to celebrate one night out of 365.
I have no sense that waking up yesterday I should look at anything differently, or strive in some way to change either myself or my environment.
When asked if I had intentions, I kind of mumbled. Nope. I may think up a word that will stand for my direction of my path, but for now I just am walking it. My life continues...seemlessly.
I have come to terms with the anxieties of changes that are inevitible in my life. When my needs change, then things must also change. Yes it takes effort to settle with what will be most comfortable for me. And that's just the mental/spiritual preparations. The actual work of making changes in my life are still out there. Many hours ahead will require my attention, but I think I'm about ready to move in the direction that is required.
I've recently witnessed an iPhone that just died. After many hours on one day to get it fixed, there was no resolution. A busy family member spent those hours away from the joys of the season talking to strangers on another phone...and he had a whole week without receiving any phone calls. It would still text and do email but no phone functions. We are servants at times to our gadgets...and I've done the same kind of routine myself...grudgingly, with phones and computers. These are our devices to serve us, but they can sometimes be demanding.
I remind myself to look within for the spark of love, life, and the connection to my Higher Spirit. She is always there, waiting for me to notice her.
No matter the spiritual practices that I've been around lately, the talk is always of the Source of spirituality coming from outside ourselves.
Please stop and listen to the inner Guide, that part of yourself which proves that She exists as much in you as She does in me. I think all religions are based on removing that spark of divinity and placing Her on an altar. It's fine to have external reminders, but we really only need to sit in silence to reconnect with what is always there...a divinity which each of us has inside us, our connection to Source.
Unfortunately she lets cell phones and computers continue to have their own problems. But it all works out eventually.